MARINE CORPS BASE HAWAII -- A couple screaming and kids crying could be heard through the darkness of the night. “It was just an argument,” the neighbors assumed and carried on with their evening. No one called the police to avoid getting involved. The next day, however, law enforcement informed them their neighbor had violently stabbed his wife to death in front of their children ... If they had called the police, the woman may still be alive today.
According to Debbie Hauhio, victim advocate program coordinator for Marine Corps Base Hawaii, this fatal example of domestic violence occurred on island within the last 10 years. Domestic violence affects approximately one in four women and one in 14 men.
Domestic violence is the main cause of injury to women. This means it causes more injuries than car accidents, muggings and rapes combined in the United States according to http://literacy.kent.edu.
“Most people get involved once domestic violence has escalated to physical abuse or sexual assault,” Hauhio said. “The abuser usually has a pattern of controlling behavior, intimidation, name calling and financial abuse before anything physical happens.”
In 1987, October was appointed Domestic Violence Awareness Month.
The Violence Against Women Act was passed in 1994 to help women affected by domestic violence and abuse. It tightened the reins for the criminal justice system, giving sex offenders and other domestic abuse offenders a more just and harsh penalty according to www.whitehouse.gov.
Anyone can fall victim to domestic violence; any age, sex, race, religion.
Homosexual men are more likely to be abused by an intimate partner compared to heterosexual men. Almost half of all homosexual men will experience abuse according to literacy.kent.edu.
Physical assault and abuse vary between men and women. When men physically assault another person, male or female, they usually do so with closed fists and threaten with weapons. Women tend to kick, slap and throw objects at their adversary according to Hauhio.
Domestic violence victims experience more than just physical pain; they experience psychological grief as well. Victims may feel guilty or humiliated, angry and anxious and some may become depressed and withdraw from their relationships, according to Hauhio.
However, domestic violence is not just physical. It can also be name-calling, withholding money, keeping them from contacting family, sexual assault and stalking, according to Hauhio.
“Most domestic violence happens on the weekends and between the hours of 11 p.m. and 3 a.m., usually with alcohol as a contributing factor,” Hauhio said.
Domestic violence doesn’t only affect the people directly involved, Hauhio explained. Children who witness such acts can have emotional problems. Some kids may blame themselves for what is happening between “mommy and daddy.” And many will carry on the abuse into their own relationships in the
future.
Victims can report domestic violence to police, medical professionals or call a domestic violence hotline. Witnesses also have a responsibility to report domestic violence. Doing so could save someone’s life.
“There is confidential reporting,” Hauhio explained. “Victims can use restricted reporting if they do not want the law or military command involved. They can speak to a Family Advocacy advocate or a healthcare provider confidentially. There are some exemptions to restricted reporting, but we explain them beforehand.”
Marine Corps Base Hawaii has many different resources to help domestic violence victims and their abusers and to help prevent the issue all together. The Marine Corps offers free counseling, workshops and classes to help families stay safe and healthy.
“We can all make a difference,” Hauhio said. “Anyone can call base military police or 911 anonymously to report suspected violence. People always say ‘What if they’re just arguing?’ But what if they aren’t? It’s better to be safe than sorry.”
“We have civilian shelters as well as a military shelter,” Hauhio said. “They can call the hotline confidentially. We can give them guidance and advice.”
Anyone who is experiencing domestic violence or has questions on Marine Corps Base Hawaii can contact an advocate at any time of day at 216-7175.
“It’s not their fault,” Hauhio said. “Help is available. We can give them hope again. Hope that things will change.”